Surviving Mai Tai Tom’s “Royal” Blunder: 2022 England & Scotland

CHAPTER THREE: Greenwich … It’s About Time & Dinner With The Churchills

Day Three: The China Syndrome, Tower Gets Ready For The Jubilee, “They Aren’t Personable,” Missed It By That Much, Thames Cruise, No Not The Scotch, Painted Hall, The Queen’s House, Tiptoe Down The Tulips, A Hill Of A Walk, Out Of Time, Quays To The City, Flower Power, Fit To Be Thai-d & Where’s Our Train?

Forgetting to set our “Do Not Disturb” on our iPhones, Tracy and I were interrupted so often by Chinese “scam likely” calls during the night that when I woke up I had a craving for Kung Pao Chicken.

The group had made the decision that if today was a good weather day, we’d take a river cruise to Greenwich. Blue skies greeted us, so it was back on the tube, this time to the Tower Bridge station. Of course, we had no idea where we were supposed to catch the boat to Greenwich, but we forged ahead anyway like any stupid tourists without a definitive plan. (I blame myself because I usually use the last two weeks to get everything in order, but Covid kind of knocked me on my butt. My story, and I’m sticking to it.)

The Tower of London was in the midst of preparations for the Platinum Jubilee including planting of more than 20 million seeds for a “Superbloom” in the moat. 

                 

Unfortunately for Tracy, the bloom was yet to be super.

                                                    

Meandering aimlessly (a phrase that should be inscribed on my tombstone), we hopped up on the crowded Tower Bridge and finally asked where we pick up the boat to Greenwich. We were given directions to Tower Millennium Pier (walk through the Tower of London gift store to reach the path).

                                                                                      

It was a perfect day to be outside.

Upon arriving, we had to make a decision on which company to use …City Cruises or the Uber Boat. You talk about pier pressure. 

We asked the woman at City Cruises. She was very exuberant and said that Uber boat was “not as personable.”  She might have been a little biased, but that was good enough for us.  Sadly, however, thanks to our wayward stroll here, we had missed the boat by two minutes. I would have to wait for my first Tom cruise in quite some time.

Not to worry, we took some photos with The Shard in the background and 25 minutes later we were on our way to Greenwich (about a half hour cruise).

                                                                        

Heading under and past The Tower Bridge, our guide started his commentary by imparting some historical facts and points of interest along the way. 

                     

Not only was he “personable,” he was quite funny, too. 

                               

On a sunny and turning warm London morning, it was a very enjoyable river cruise.

Upon disembarking, Kim asked, “What about the Cutty Sark?” I replied that although it might be 5 o’clock somewhere, but I wasn’t quite ready to drink.  The Cutty Sark is a clipper ship built in Dumbarton, Scotland, in 1869.  Since we had gotten off to a rather late start, we took photos from the outside of the ship and sailed by to our first destination. To quote Mary, “We marveled at the majestic Cutty Sark.”

          

Outside the Old Royal Naval College is a statue of Sir Walter Raleigh. Had there been a puddle, I would have thrown my cape down.  When asked by the crew where we were going, I immediately thought of Raleigh’s ultimate fate when I said, “We beheaded to the Painted Hall.”

The Old Royal Naval College has been around for 300+ years and was designed by the man who never slept, Christopher Wren (UNESCO alert!). The buildings were originally known as the Royal Hospital for Seamen at Greenwich. Henry VIII was born at this site at what was then Greenwich Palace, which fell into dis-repair and was demolished in the 1600s. We read a sign detailing the King’s jousting accident at his favorite residence and how a “charming monarch transformed into an increasingly sickly, temperamental and tyrannical leader.”  

The reason we were here was to view “Britain’s Sistine Chapel.”  It took 19 years in the early 1700s for James Thornwell to complete the cycle, which encompasses a 40,000 square-foot area.  And I thought our living room was a chore.

Before getting our tickets, we saw the below sign. I assumed we’d have to supply our own Geiger Counters.

The Painted Hall really is something to behold.

                                                   

There are many spectacular scenes, and when you get tired you can sit on oak benches where it’s a little easier to gaze up at the ceiling.

The Hall reopened in 2019 after a two year renovation, and then, of course, had to shut back down again thanks to Covid.

Five monarchs are supposedly included in this massive painting, although I didn’t even see one butterfly.

                                        

In an adjacent room is the also renovated Nelson room, where the admiral’s body was returned to after his death at Trafalger. There was some type of class going on, so I just got a quick terrible shot of his statue. There’s also lots of Nelson historical info, too.

We walked through a hallway toward the Chapel of St. Peter & Paul (no Mary).  Once again scaffolding was our enemy.

The college chapel was completed in 1751 and destroyed by fire in 1779. It was rebuilt 12 years later.  The ceiling (I’m surprised Tracy wasn’t in traction by this point) was again a photo focal point.

    

The scaffolding hid the famed Benjamin West Painting, “Preservation of St Paul after a Shipwreck at Malta,” which is currently being restored.  It was a quick stop.

                                   

We walked toward the Queen’s House, but I ducked in for a quick glimpse of the Greenwich National Maritime Museum (it’s free).  I posed with a bulldog & a tall guy, who were figureheads on ships.  Naturally, a dog figurehead never needs to disem-bark.

                                                      

Tell me that guy third up on the left doesn’t look a little like Dean Martin.

The museum looked interesting, but our late start meant having to miss the boat on this one.

Speaking of renovations, the Queen’s House, one of Indigo Jones architectural masterpieces, has reopened its 22 rooms. Dating from 1629, it houses more than 450 pieces of artwork. It was the “first Classical building in the UK, making it one of the most important buildings in British architectural history.”  The Queen’s House was commissioned by Anne of Denmark, the queen of King James VI and I (depending on what country you’re in).

         

While Woburn Abbey is undergoing refurbishment, the Queen’s House is displaying some of its artwork called “The Woburn Treasures,” like “The Parting Cheer,” with people waving to others who are leaving “for a better life.”

Surprisingly, there was a naval sculpture of someone who looked suspiciously like Larry from The Three Stooges.

We paid our respects to Prince Philip.

Sailing ships and figureheads abounded.

                                                   

Although the paintings were interesting in the King’s Presence Chamber, Tracy was interested in exactly what color blue was used for this room. Sadly, no one from Dunn Edwards was around.

              

There was a bust of Galileo, but none for Figaro, which was perplexing since this house was built for a Queen.

Speaking of music, I was wondering if these guys portended an upcoming Jimmy Buffet concert.

                                                       

One of the biggest treasures in Greenwich is the “Armada Portrait of Elizabeth I,” located upstairs.

These two were not a treasure.

What goes up must come down, and channeling our inner Tiny Tim it was time to Tiptoe “Down” The Tulips. The Tulip Stairs were the “first centrally unsupported helical stairs constructed in England.” Kim and Tracy got some interesting shots both down …

… and up.

                                   

 

I liked it when Tracy was shooting down the same time Kim was taking photos upward.

Outside we looked out toward the college and the Thames. The Queen had specifically requested she have an unobstructed view of the river, and the Queen usually gets her way.

We wandered over to the Greenwich Market for one of the most forgettable meals we’ve all had in quite some time. It was actually fortunate for Kim that his tastebuds were not fully operational.

Time was of the essence, so we headed toward the Royal Greenwich Observatory, home of Greenwich Mean Time. I asked Kim if I had to be angry when we reached it. We walked through Greenwich Park and trudged up, up, up, and up some more to the observatory.

                              

While catching what was left of my breath, we looked back at the view over the park.

We checked out the remaining section of a 40-foot telescope built for the astronomer who discovered Uranus. Somehow, I refrained from a joke, except maybe the Star Trek one where the Klingons get wiped out on Uranus. Hard to believe I’m nearly 70.

                                       

The Shepherd 24-Hour Gate Clock is the first clock ever to show GMT  to the public. It shows 24 hours on its face, as does mine after these long days of walking.We also learned about the red ball on top of the observatory, which has been there since 1833. A couple of minutes every day before 1 p.m. the ball rises to the top. At 1 p.m. it falls so mariners can check their chronometers before heading out.  Inside the gate people straddled the line between the eastern and western hemisphere. I had done that in Quito, Ecuador, for the northern and southern hemisphere and it just didn’t seem to warrant the 16£ entry fee, plus we were ready to get back to London.

We did find a spot outside the observatory gates to take our photo straddling the hemispheres, although I’m sure that crack in the pavement isn’t really it.  Hey, close enough.

Back in Greenwich, we hopped the DLR train back to London passing by some quays. When I mentioned that word to the group, I was corrected by a fellow passenger that the actual pronunciation is really “keys.”  If only there had been some locks, too.

A seven minute nap at the hotel, and it was time to move on.

For dinner on this night, we’d hit a pub my childhood friend Andy recommended that was built in 1750, The Churchill Arms (advance reservations recommended … it was packed). In the 19th century, Winston Churchill’s grandparents made this place a regular stop, and after World War II the pub was renamed … it was originally called “Church-on-the Hill”).

Whatever flowers Tracy had missed at the Tower of London in the morning could be found on the pub’s exterior and interior. For the first time on the trip, we heard Tracy exclaim, “Those are broody skies.” It would not be the last.

We entered …

                                           

… into an interior filled with a plethora of plants and an occasional friendly dog. I swear I heard someone shout out, “It’s a jungle in here!”

                               

No bangers and mash for us tonight … The Churchill Arms is well-known for its Thai restaurant.

                                          

Andy had recommended the food here, and he was spot on. The food was fast, fresh, delicious and affordable. Brilliant!

The pub was packed, but it was time to go back to the hotel where we needed to pack.  Unfortunately, although we were only two tube stops from our hotel, the train on this line only runs every 20 minutes, and, just like the boat in the morning, we missed it by that much. Now I knew how Maxwell Smart felt.

                                       

 

We’d take a morning train to York, where we’d pack a lot in during our 2 1/2 days visiting museums, a great cathedral, walking the walls and experiencing this charming town from one end to the other.

It would also be the place where, within 48 hours, yours truly would nearly spark an international incident. First, however, I needed to navigate and survive a steep set of stairs on our first day.

Next – CHAPTER FOUR: STEPPING IT UP IN YORK

Day Four: Where’s Boris Johnson?, An Explosive Pub, My Life’s In A Shambles, Stairway To Heaven, Tower of Power, Checking Out York’s Past, A Change In Plans, Walking In Circles, I’m Trembling (Part One), Old Tom, Near Death Experience and Going Italiano